My life By Atticus Belikov
by fancybutterfly
Summary: Takes place 5.5 years after Harsh Reality. Told in the POV of Rose and Dimitri's daughter Atticus Belikov. Jenessa said that Atticus had rare magic, but what happens when that magic gets out, and how will her gifts effect the world around her? I don't own Vampire Academy or the characters. I'm just having a little fun with them. ;)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter#1

 **I was going to wait, to post, but I couldn't resist posting. I was excited to hear opinions.**

 **A little Biography: This story takes place five and a half years after the end of Harsh Reality. This story is told in the POV of Atticus Belikov; Dimitri and Rose's child.**

 **Keep in mind that would only make her six years old. This is my first time writing in the POV of someone that young. I hope I got it right.**

 **Anyways, sorry for my ramblings. I hope you enjoy.**

I'm in the dark place again. It's cold. I'm scared.

 _Mommy? Daddy? Where are you?_

Footsteps come closer.

 _Clink. Clink. Clink._

Then more, and get louder. They're getting closer.

My head hurts.

I close my eyes and scream.

I open my eyes.

The white shadows come. They go right through me.

They are cold.

Then one stops, and walks over.

It's a man. He's easier to see than the rest.

This is the one that wants me this time.

He reaches his hand out.

I take it.

I'm in the room again.

He turns on the light and smiles. It's not as scary.

 _When the lights on I know this is a friend._

I relax and smile back at him.

"Hello Atticus." His voice sounds funny. Like daddy.

"You sound like my daddy." I chirp.

His smile gets bigger and he laughs a little.

"That's because your daddy and I come from the same place."

"The faraway place?" I ask.

"Yes." He says. "That's right little one. We both come from Russia."

"You knew my daddy?"

He nods.

"Yes, your daddy and I were friends, and he feels very bad about how I died."

"But why mister? How did you die?"

He shrugs his shoulders and smiles again.

"He feels like it's his fault, but it's not. The bad people got me."

I've heard of the bad people. They are vampires like me, but they feed on other vampires. Mommy told me not to be afraid. She said that her and daddy would never let them get me.

He sits up closer.

"Will you please tell your daddy something for me?"

"OK mister."

He laughs again.

I don't know why he keeps laughing. I'm not trying to be funny.

"Tell your daddy not to feel about his friend Ivan. That Ivan is OK, and that Daddy didn't do anything bad."

"So, you're Ivan?" I ask, though I think I know already.

He doesn't break his smile. "Yes dear, I am Ivan Zelkos. It's very nice to meet you Atticus."

"What if daddy doesn't believe me? What if he thinks I'm crazy like the kids at school?" I said as I look down to my twiddling fingers.

"He will believe you." He puts his hand on the table. I look up. "You're not crazy my dear. You're special. You can do special things. Things no one else can."

His chair squeaks and he gets up.

"Thank you, Atticus. You've been a very brave little girl."

"You're welcome Mister Ivan."

He laughs again.

Still not trying to be funny.

He turns and reaches his hand out.

I take it.

I'm asleep again.

 **So, this is just one of her gifts. I know that Rose talked to ghost Mason in shadow kiss, but if I remember (I'll be honest, it's been a while since I've read shadow kiss) correctly it wasn't as vivid. Mostly he just pointed. I think he spoke one time right before the attack? (I apologize and mean no disrespect if I am mistaken) Anyways, my point is I was going for a more vivid experience for little Atticus.**

 **Thank you all once again for your support. It really means a lot to me.**

 **I hope you enjoyed!**

 **More to come….**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter#2

I wake up the next night to Mommy making eggs.

They smell good. Mommy's a good cook.

"Good morning Atticus." She says with a smile.

"Hi Mommy." I say tucking a bit of hair behind my ear. "I love you."

I wriggle my arms around her legs. She's too tall for me to reach.

She giggles and reaches down to pick me up.

"Well what brought that on sweetie?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Well I love you too."

I put my legs around her hips and she kisses all over my face.

I wish I was pretty like mommy.

"Mommy, it tickles"

Then I feel hands at my sides. They tickle too.

"Daddy stop… tickles."

He laughs too and scoops me up.

He sets me on the chair and kisses my cheeks.

"Hello angel."

"Hi daddy."

He smiles, his fingers go through my hair.

"Daddy?"

"Yes baby."

I don't like it when Daddy calls me baby. I'm not a baby.

"Could I visit with Aunt Jenessa today?"

It's not that I don't trust Mommy or Daddy, but I'm afraid to tell them about the dark place. I've never told them. I feel safe telling Aunt Jenessa.

I feel like she wouldn't be sad if I told her.

I don't want to make Mommy and Daddy sad.

Mommy and Daddy look at each other.

 _Please say yes._

Daddy turns back to me.

"Well honey, aunt Jenessa is going to be here tomorrow for your birthday party."

I have to tell what daddy's friend said or the bad thing will happen. I can't take too long.

The bad shadows warned me.

I frown. I know that daddy doesn't like it.

"None of that princess." He says as he places a finger to my lip.

"Let me make sure that it's ok with her first. OK?"

"OK daddy."

I smile.

"Good girl." He says rubbing my head.

He pulls out his adult walkie talkie and pushes buttons and places it on his ear.

I wish I could play with it too.

Maybe I'll ask for one for my birthday. I'm six now. I'm old enough for an adult walkie talkie.

After talking to Aunt Jenessa for a minute he puts it down and turns to me.

"Ok sweetie. She said she would love to see you."

He gulped at his coffee.

I tried it once. Mommy let me. She told me not to tell Daddy.

It was gross. It tasted hot and spicy. I don't know why adults like it.

Maybe people from the faraway place like coffee. Mommy doesn't drink it.

Maybe that's why Daddy's voice is weird, because he drinks coffee?

I wonder if his friend liked coffee too?

I should have asked him.

"Thank you, Daddy."

I bounced up and stood next to him. I smushed my lips for a kiss.

He was too tall. I would never be able to reach him.

He looked at me. The hair above his eyes goes up.

"Daddy, you're funny."

He laughed and picked me up and kissed my head before putting me back down.

"Go brush your teeth and get dressed." He said. "And we will drop you off at Aunt Jenessa's before we go to work."

I nod and walk off towards my room.

I stop at Mommy and tug on her dress.

She looks down to me.

"Yes sweetie?"

I point to my smushed lip with my finger.

She smiles and pulls me up and gives me a kiss.

"I love you."

"Love you too Mommy."

I turn and go back towards the bathroom.

I pull out my toothbrush and put on toothpaste.

It's yucky, I don't like it, but Daddy tells me that if I don't brush my teeth I'll have to go to the dentist to get all my teeth pulled out.

It doesn't sound very nice. I don't think I'd like the dentist.

After I'm done I spit into the sink and put my toothbrush away and go to my room.

I wonder what Aunt Jenessa will think of the dark place. Of the white shadows.

Will she think I'm crazy?

Will she have me sent away?

I don't want to be away from Mommy and Daddy.

It's hard to breath. My insides are heavy.

I fist my dress and cry.

I stop, because I don't want Mommy and Daddy to hear.

Someone is coming. I can hear steps.

I shuffle and pull out a pair of pants and a pink shirt.

I put them on just before someone knocks.

"Sweetie, are you OK?"

It's mommy.

"Yes Mommy." I call. "I'm dressed. I'll be right down."

I wait until I hear mommy leave before I cry a little more.

Once I'm done I come downstairs.

"There's our little angel." Daddy holds out his arms to me.

I jump, and he catches me.

Daddy is good at catching me.

He looks at me for a second.

"Honey are you ok?"

I nod. "Yes daddy, why?"

He reaches up to my eyes and wipes them.

"Have you been crying? Your eyes are all red."

"No daddy. Honest."

He raises his eye hair again, but doesn't ask again.

I'm glad. I don't want to fib again.

He kisses me before putting me back down on the ground.

We walk out into the hallway.

Mommy is wearing her tight pants and big shirt.

She must be fighting again today.

I don't like when Mommy fights.

She always gets purple spots after.

I don't like when mommy has purple spots.

We stop in front of Aunt Jenessa's door.

Mommy knocks and waits.

Within seconds the door clicks open.

Aunt Jenessa hugs mommy, hugs daddy, and then hugs me.

She smells like my cereal.

"There you are gorgeous. How are you?"

"Hi Aunt Jenessa."

She moves aside and allows me to walk inside.

I turn back. Mommy, Daddy, and Aunt Jenessa are still in the hallway.

"It's all right love." Daddy says turning to me.

"Go watch TV. We will be there in a minute."

I go into the TV room.

I turn on the TV, but only half listen to it. I don't like this show anyway.

I want to know what they are saying.

"I think she's upset." I hear daddy whisper. "Her eyes were all red like she was crying."

"Did she say anything?" Mommy asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see daddy shaking his head.

"She didn't say anything to me either."

I turn back to the TV when I hear them come inside.

"Mommy and Daddy will come get you after work." Mommy says as she scoops me in her arms. "I love you baby."

"I love you too." I put my face in my mommy's neck.

"Honey?" She's still holding me.

"Yes mommy?"

She pulls away just to look at my face.

"You know you can tell us anything right sweetie?"

My throat gets tight, and my insides are heavy again.

I don't want to cry.

I turn away.

I don't want her to be sad.

"Yes Mommy." I say.

"So, is there anything you want to tell me?"

I turn. Daddy walks over and puts his hand on my back and rubs.

"No mommy."

I don't like lying to mommy and daddy. It makes my throat hot.

She pulls away from me and sets me on the couch.

"Ok sweetie." She gulps hard.

"We will see you after work."

I nod and she kisses my head.

Daddy follows with a kiss to my head.

"We love you baby."

"I love you too." I say just before they leave through the door.

Aunt Jenessa closes the door and sits next to me. She's quiet.

I can talk to her now.

I feel safe. She won't be sad. Not like Mommy and Daddy.

"Aunt Jenessa?"

She turns with a hum and smiles.

"Yes sweetie?"

I fiddle with my hands.

"I have something to tell you."

She keeps her eyes on me. She doesn't say anything.

"Have you ever been to the dark place?"

She squints.

"What's the dark place?"

"I go there when I'm asleep sometimes." I say to her. "It's where the white shadows find me."

She grips my knee. "Honey, what are the white shadows?"

I turn my head down.

She grips my face with her hand and makes me look at her.

It's hard to see. My eyes are leaking.

She wipes at them. I can see again.

I'm glad she's not sad.

"I met one, a good one last night."

"How do you know it's a good one?"

"Because when I went to the room the light was on."

"I see." She said. "What did the white shadow say to you?"

I take a deep breath.

"He said he died from the bad people. That Daddy feels bad about it."

I keep talking when she's quiet.

"He was a friend of Daddy's. His name is Ivan."

Her eyes get big.

"Honey, why didn't you tell daddy?"

"I was scared." My throat feels funny. I can't get the air in. My insides feel heavy again.

I'm dizzy.

She grabs me and puts her hand in my hair. My insides feel better.

I can breathe again.

"I don't want daddy to think I'm lying, and I don't want him to be sad."

She sighs and rocks me.

She's warm. I feel safe.

She kisses my hair. "Why don't we tell them together?" She said. "Would that be better?"

I pull away and nod.

She smiles.

I feel better.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter#3

Aunt Jenessa and I played a lot while mommy and daddy were at work.

So, I was asleep when I heard them come in.

They were talking, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

I was just so tired. I couldn't stretch my ears that far.

After that I felt arms pull me out of bed and cradle me.

It was daddy. I could tell because he had rough hands.

I took a deep breath and yawned. Then nuzzled closer to him.

He gripped me tight and laid a kiss to my head.

I heard them say goodbye and we were moving.

A door opened and closed, and I felt myself get put back into my bed.

Mommy and daddy pulled the covers up to my chest.

"I wish she would just tell us what's going on." I heard mommy say. She sounded sad.

"I know." Daddy said. "But you heard Jenessa, she wants to tell us with her."

"Yea, but why?" Mommy's voice sounded funny. Like mine does when I cry. "We are her parents. She should feel safe coming to us. What am I doing wrong as a mother?"

She was breathing funny now. I wanted to reach out to her, but my body was too heavy.

Mommy's a wonderful mom, and I love daddy so much.

Daddy sighed and I could feel my mattress move as if he was bringing her closer.

"Nothing." He said as if he was angry. Maybe he was angry with me. "You are a wonderful mother Roza, but if we want her to open up we need to be patient."

Open up? What does that mean? Oh no, were they going to cut me open?

She sniffled.

"You're right." She said after what felt like a long time. "I love you."

"And I love you too." He said. "Both of my girls."

Phew, at least he wasn't angry with me.

Daddy and mommy sat with me for a while before going to bed.

That's when I was pulled back into the dark place.

The shadows swept by me again.

I cried out at the cold. It was like tiny knives.

Then a white woman walked over.

She reached out her hand.

I took it and we went to the room.

I sat and waited for the light to turn on.

Then I waited some more.

Nothing.

She was a mean one.

"Hello?" I didn't recognize my voice. It was shaky.

I looked around.

It was still dark, but then I saw two round red lights whoosh past.

I heard the chair squeak and someone sat across from me.

I didn't like this. I was scared.

I wish mommy and daddy were here.

"Don't worry." I heard her say, but her voice wasn't nice.

It didn't make me worry any less.

"I can't kill you." She continued, as if upset by that fact. "Doesn't mean I don't want to."

"Why? Why do you want to? What did I do to you?"

"Oh you?" She said in a nasty voice. "Nothing. You didn't do anything to me."

I gulped. Why would she want to hurt me if I didn't do anything?

I'm not going to talk anymore unless she does. I just want her to go away.

"Your daddy on the other hand." She continued. "He's the one who killed me."

No. I knew it wasn't true. She was lying. Daddy was so kind and gentle. He wouldn't kill anyone.

There had to be a reason. Maybe she tried to hurt him or mommy.

But I didn't want to ask.

"What?" She said. "Don't believe me?"

I gulped again.

This time she turned on the light.

I screamed.

She smiled.

She had on a blue dress. She had red eyes and she was pale.

She had brown hair curly hair that made it just above her shoulders.

She looked like one of the bad ones. I've seen pictures at school, but I've never seen one up close before.

But mommy and daddy said that they wouldn't let them get me.

Her eyes followed mine when I saw the silver object poking out of her chest.

"Oh yea." She said, touching it and laughing.

Her face crinkled, as if it hurt.

I felt bad she was in pain.

"That's how your daddy killed me."

I wanted her to go away. She was scary. So, I spoke even though I was afraid.

"What do you want?"

"What's wrong?" She said standing up and twitching her head. "Don't you want to have this precious girl time? After all, I know you don't have many friends."

"Come on." She said, clasping her hands in front of her. "Be my friend."

She pouted her lip. When I do sometimes if I don't get what I want.

"I'm sorry my daddy killed you."

She laughed, it boomed in the dark.

"You're sorry? Sorry?" Her voice got louder when she said sorry a second time.

Yep, that's what I said.

She kind of reminded me of a parrot I saw once at a zoo.

It would repeat every word I said.

She threw her arms out in the air. She licked at the blood that drained from her mouth.

"Whatever." She said sitting back down.

"I don't have time for this. So, I'm just going to spill."

I got up. I didn't want her to throw up on me.

"Relax." She said, rolling her eyes and putting her hand on the table. "I already said I can't kill you."

I took a deep breath and sat back down.

If I did what she asked maybe she would go away.

"Listen, you made a really big mistake. You were supposed to tell daddy what Ivan said. Not your aunt Jenessa."

I bit my lip and looked down at my twiddling fingers.

"You won't hurt daddy, will you? It's not his fault. I didn't want him to be sad."

She forced my eyes back up to her by slamming her hand on the table.

I jumped and almost fell down.

"No, I won't hurt your daddy."

She stood up and walked over to me.

"But you will."

She smiled and put her face close to mine.

She parted her lips. Her teeth were big.

I wanted to move, but I couldn't. She was holding me tight by the arms.

"Tell daddy that Natalie Dashkov says hi."

I cried. A sharp tingle slammed on my neck.

That's when I woke up.

I was wet on my face and my arms and legs were too.

My neck hurts. I touched it. It didn't feel cold. Not like it did when I was bleeding.

Then there was a knock on the door.

I turned, my daddy walked in.

"Princess, you better get up you're going to be late to your own.."

He stopped talking and sat on my bed.

"Honey, are you ok? You're all sweaty."

He put his hand on my forehead. It was rough.

"Honey, you look pale. Do you feel ok?"

I bit my lip and put my head down.

I nodded. My stomach felt funny.

I didn't want to hurt daddy. I was scared to hurt daddy.

Something was crawling up my throat.

I clasped at it. Trying to stop it from coming up.

Was this the bad thing?

 _Oh no._

"Daddy." I cried. "I need a bucket, Please."

He stood up quick and handed me my throw up bucket.

He held my hair back while I spit up the nasties.

After I was done he kissed my forehead and whispered in his made-up language.

I didn't know what he was saying, but it made me feel better.

He put the bucket by his feet and then reached out to my face.

"Honey, maybe we should make your party another day."

I cried. I didn't want to. I wanted to see my aunt Lissa, Uncle Christian, and my cousin Miracle.

She was my only real friend.

I wanted to talk to my aunt Jenessa.

"But I want to see everyone."

He sighed and kissed my head.

"I know baby girl, but you're sick love. You need to rest."

I shook my head. I wanted to take my mind off the bad thing.

Besides, I was getting presents today. I wanted to see what all I got.

"Maybe this will make you feel better." He said seeing my frown.

He pulled out a small box from his pocket and held it out to me.

I squeaked and reached for it.

He smiled and ran his hand in my hair.

I opened it.

It was a pretty necklace.

It was silver with a star shaped charm.

On the back of it was weird writing.

"Thank you, daddy."

"Happy birthday princess." He said before laying a kiss to my head.

"Daddy?"

"Yes angel?"

"What does the writing mean?"

He studied it and smiled.

"It's Russian." He said, putting his fingers on it.

"It means my everything."

"You're my everything." He said pulling my face up to meet his eyes. "My heart grew so big the day you were born."

I stared at his chest. It didn't look any bigger to me.

"I love you so much princess."

A tear ran down his cheek.

I wiped it and threw my arms around his neck. I wanted daddy to be happy.

"Daddy, I'm sorry for making you sad."

He sighed and gripped me tighter.

"You're not making me sad." He pulled me back and set me on my bed. "Sometimes people cry when they are happy my love."

"And you and your mom. You make me so happy."

"You make me happy too daddy. You and mommy. I love you both."

I was crying now too. He pulled me in for another hug.

He ran his fingers down my brown hair and kissed my head.

"Daddy?" I asked after he pulled me apart.

"Yes?"

"Have you ever had to kill anyone?"

He drew a deep breath and his body went limp.

"Honey, you're a big girl now. I won't lie to you."

He caressed my cheek.

"Yes, but I've only killed those I've had to."

"Like the bad people?"

"That's right love. I would never in a hundred years hurt you or mommy."

That's a long time. I don't think anyone can even live that long.

"Why do you ask?"

I bit my lip.

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I did something bad. I'm a bad person. I think you have to kill me."

Daddy took a deep breath and put his hands on my shoulders. He stared at me.

"Atticus honey, listen to me. You are one of the most caring little girls I've ever seen. I am so proud of you. I am so proud of the young lady you are growing up to be. You may make mistakes in life my dear, but in no way, do I think you are a bad person."

He scooted closer.

"Now tell me, what have you done that you think you deserve to die?"

"I…"

I couldn't get the words out. They got caught in my throat.

Then mommy walked in. She was wearing a pretty purple dress and her hair was tied back.

"Well here you two are. I was ready to send out a search and rescue."

She laughed, but then her smile went away when she saw me.

Why does that always happen? I thought I made mommy and daddy so happy.

I wanted to cry again, but I didn't.

"Honey, are you sick? What's wrong? You look so pale."

She reached her hand out to my forehead.

"She doesn't have a fever." Daddy said. "But she threw up."

My mommy sighed and kissed my forehead.

"Well I think we should get you into a bath with some fresh PJ's."

"But what about my party?"

"Honey." Mommy said. "I think that we should make it another day."

Tears streamed down my face.

I couldn't look at mommy.

"Sweetheart." Daddy said in a strict tone. "It's going to be ok. There will be another day for you to celebrate."

"But.."

"You don't want to get everyone sick?" Mommy said, wrapping her hands around my cheeks. "Now do you?"

I sighed. She was right.

"No mommy, I don't."

"That's a good girl, but I have another idea."

Her eyes twinkled like stars and she held her hand out to me.

"But first bath time."

I took it and followed her into the bathroom.

After my bath mommy helped me into a fresh pair of PJ's.

We walked out into the kitchen. Daddy was sitting in the living room, wearing his sweat pants and a white short sleeve T-shirt.

"Well hello ladies." He said with a smile.

"Hi daddy." I chirped.

He sank down and gave a kiss to my head.

"Darling, the three of us are going to have a movie day today." Mommy said.

"Why don't you go pick one out and we can all watch. OK?"

I nodded and dug through the DVD's.

I decided on a movie called twilight.

Daddy laughed. "Like mother like daughter."

"Hey." She said rocking her hip against daddy. "I can't help it that us Belikov girls have good taste."

She kissed my head and brought me over to the couch to sit between them.

She turned it on and we watched.

Daddy pretended to snore and fall asleep. A lot.

I don't think he likes twilight.

"Daddy." I cried, rubbing his shoulder.

He scoffed and laughed as he pretended to wake up.

Mommy laughed too.

He pulled me to him and gave me a lot of kisses.

It was a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter#4

I was glad I didn't have any dreams when I went to sleep that day.

I woke up for school the next night and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I felt a lot better than yesterday.

I made my way to the kitchen after getting dressed.

I put on the necklace that daddy gave me. After the movie mommy gave me her present. A silver bracelet. It put it on. It was pretty.

Daddy was dressed in his black and white uniform. Mommy was still in her PJ's.

"Mommy are you OK? Don't you have to work?"

She shook her head. "No, daddy is taking over for mommy today."

Mommy was pale.

"Did I make you sick?"

She shook her head again.

"No sweetheart, it's not your fault."

I knew better. I made her sick. It was my fault.

I cried. I was making bad things happen.

Daddy whooshed over to me and put me in his lap.

"None of that sweet love."

He fingered my necklace and then moved his hand to my hair.

"Darling, bad things happen sometimes." He said. "But you didn't do anything wrong."

Mommy sat next to me and rested her head on daddy's shoulder.

Daddy kissed her head and then she wrapped her arms around him.

She peeked a side glance over to me.

"Baby doll, it's ok. Mommy will feel better soon."

"How do you feel?" She said, running her hand on my forehead. "You still look pale. Do you feel ok to go to school?"

I nodded. I didn't want to go to school, but I wanted mommy to get some rest.

If I was home she wouldn't be able to sleep.

"OK sweetie. Well I'll tell the school to call if you get sick again. I will come get you. OK?"

I nodded and she kissed my head.

"Good girl. Now eat." She said motioning to my breakfast. "I'll get your lunch ready."

"Do you want me to?" Daddy said.

She shook her head when she made it over to the kitchen.

"No hun, thanks. It's ok. I'll be fine."

They looked at each other for a moment, but then daddy nodded and I watched as she made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I was glad. Daddy always put too much peanut butter on. It made my mouth sticky.

Mommy always gave me just the right amount.

After daddy gave mommy a hug and a kiss goodbye we walked out into the hallway.

Then we made our way outside and walked along the flowers.

It was so pretty.

Daddy looked at his watch and then at me.

"We are a little early." He walked over to a bench and motioned me to sit.

"I want to talk about yesterday. You were trying to tell me something."

I bit my lip and walked over to sit with daddy.

"What were you trying to tell me beautiful?"

"I did something bad."

The hair above his eye shot up and he stared at me.

"Oh, is that so?" He laughed. "Tell me, what is this bad thing that you've done?"

"I was supposed to tell you something, but I told aunt Jenessa instead. Now the bad thing is going to happen."

I clinked my shoes together. I liked them. They were pink and sparkled when I walked.

"I see." He said. "Is this about the dark place and the white shadows?"

I shot my head up. "She told you?"

He nodded. "A few things, but not everything. I'd like to hear it from you. If you're ready to talk about it."

I nodded and curled my hair behind my ear.

"Well I talked to the man. He was nice. When he brought me to the room he turned on the light for me. The ones that want to talk to me always bring me in a room."

He smiled, but didn't say anything else.

"The second one. The one from when I got sick wasn't too nice. At first, she had the light off. When the light is off I know it's a bad one."

His smile went away, but he kept his eyes on me.

Suddenly I was scared. I didn't want him to be mad.

"Honey." He said as if knew how I felt. He pressed his hand on my knee and squeezed. "Just take your time. I promise you can tell me anything."

"And that goes for your mother as well." He continued. "We want you to feel like you can talk to both of us. You don't have to keep secrets because you're afraid."

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Well the first one. The good one. He said that you were a friend of his."

He rose his eyebrow and moved to face me. "Are you saying that he died? The shadow people, are they ghosts?"

I nodded.

"He said that you felt bad about how he died, but he said you didn't do anything wrong. He said not to feel bad. That the bad people got him. His name was Ivan."

Daddy's eyes got shiny.

Oh no. He was going to cry.

Seeing me stop he spoke.

"Honey, it's ok." He wiped at his eye. "Keep talking."

"He said that you both came from the same place. The faraway place."

"That's right angel." He said, pulling me towards him. "Ivan was someone that I was supposed to look out for. He was my friend when I was younger, and yes, the bad people did get him."

"I was afraid you wouldn't believe me." I said curling into his chest. "I was afraid you would think I was lying."

His chest rumbled and he pulled away to look at me.

He shook his head. "No sweetheart. I believe you. There's no way you could have known all of that unless you talked to him. I just feel bad for you. You must have been so afraid."

"A little." I said honestly. "But he was nice to me. Not like the other one. The girl."

"What about the girl? Did you dream about her the other night?"

"She looked like a bad one." I said. "She had red eyes and she was pale."

"What did she say?"

I motioned to my chest. "She had a silver thing poking out of her. She said you did it to her."

"And that's why you asked if I ever killed anyone?"

I nodded.

"She said that you killed her. She was really angry." I touched my neck before continuing. "She had big teeth and she bit me just before I woke up. That's why I was all sweaty. It hurt a little when I woke up."

He moved my hair out of the way and looked at both sides of my neck. "I don't see anything." He said.

"Daddy do you believe me?"

He turned his eyes away from me and nodded. "Of course, I do sweetheart."

"I'm just sorry she hurt you. What was her name? Did she say?"

I nodded. "Yes, she said her name was Natalie. She said to tell you hi."

He closed his eyes and then opened them again.

"Darling, she's not wrong. I did kill her, but do you understand why I did?"

I nodded, but there was something that made me think that he didn't believe me. So, I kept talking.

"Because she was a bad one. A stri.."

I couldn't quite say the word yet.

"Strigoi." He finished. "And yes, that's right darling. She was, and she tried to hurt mommy. I couldn't let that happen."

"Because you love her?"

"Yes, because I love both of you so much. I'd do anything to protect you."

He kissed my head just as the other students started walking up to the school.

Daddy told me that the school wasn't always here. That Aunt Lissa had it put up for the children who lived at court.

She wanted parents who lived here to be able to see their kids every day.

I guess there were other schools for people like us that were far away.

He said that she was a great queen, and that she brought a lot of good to our world.

"I love you Atticus." Daddy said as he handed me my lunch bag.

"Mommy and I will see you tonight, and we will talk more about this."

"OK. I love you too."

I wasn't really looking forward to talking about the shadows again, but I expected that they would have a lot of questions. I couldn't blame them.

He kissed my head and then let me go to walk inside.

I looked back. He watched me just before I got inside.

He then turned around and walked back where we came.

After putting away my lunch bag in my cubby I sat down in my usual seat.

Miracle bounced over and put her lunch away.

She was younger than me, but she was smart. That's why she could go to school with me.

I was glad. At least I had a friend.

Everyone else thought I was a freak.

"Hi Atticus." She said as she put a bit of her sun tinged hair behind her ear.

"Hi Miracle." With a smile, she sat next to me.

"I'm sorry we missed your birthday yesterday." She said to me. "Mommy said that you were sick."

I nodded. "Yea, I threw up."

Her face wrinkled.

"But it's ok." I continued. "We watched movies all day yesterday in our pajama's."

"Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. "But Mommy is sick now."

Her face went back to normal.

"Yea, I heard your mom talking to my mom on the phone."

"What did they say?"

She opened her mouth to talk, but the other students walked in.

"Ok class, settle down now."

We all turned to Miss Rinaldi.

Her and mommy were friends. She graduated from the big school at the same time as Aunt Lissa. Now she was our teacher.

She smiled when we stopped talking and turned to the board.

We went on with our lesson. It was math. I didn't listen though, because I didn't like it. It was boring.

At recess, Miracle and I sat by the jungle gym. It was our normal meeting place.

There were a lot of people standing around us. They had white and black outfits on like daddy.

They protected us from the bad people.

Jamie Zelkos walked over. I didn't like him. He wasn't nice to Miracle. Or to me.

He pushed her down before I had a chance to stop him.

He laughed while she cried.

The people in the corners came closer.

"Leave her alone Jamie." I cried.

He reached around and pushed me.

I fell to the ground. Falling on my hands.

"Shut up freak. You have pale skin. Like the bad people."

It burned, and when I looked blood scraped on my hand.

"That's enough." One of them said.

I recognized his voice. He was like daddy. He was his other friend. His name was Henry. I like him. He's nice.

"You're not the boss of me." He said. "You're just the help."

He walked away.

Henry walked over and helped me up.

"Are you all right Miss Atticus?"

I nodded, and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

He turned my hands over. He smeared the blood that was there.

"Why don't you go to the nurse?" He said. "I'll walk with you."

I turned over to Miracle. Other people were helping her up. She had a skid on her knee.

"She should come too." I said pointing over to her.

He nodded and walked with us to the nurse.

We went to the nurse and got band aids, and she gave us each a lollypop.

I like the nurse. She's nice.

I was so mad at Jamie. I didn't like that he hurt Miracle.

After that we were brought back into class.

Miss Rinaldi was standing at the front.

Henry talked to her. He turned to us sometimes, but mostly just talked to her.

They were good friends. They always smiled around each other. Sometimes when I saw them look at each other their cheeks would get pink.

She walked over when he left and sat in between us.

"Are you too ok?" She said.

I looked at Miracle, and when she nodded I did too.

If she was ok then I was to.

"I heard that Jamie wasn't very nice to you."

"No, he's a real doo doo head." I said pouting my lip.

She laughed a little and shook her head. Then pulled us close.

"You know, I wasn't always nice either. I was mean to your mommy's."

She sighed.

"I feel bad about it now. I said sorry and we are all friends now."

"Just give it time." She said with a smile. "Maybe you will all be friends one day."

 _Yea, maybe when we are old. Like twenty._

She rose to her feet. "In the meantime." She said. "Stay in here until recess is over."

She walked back over to her desk and looked through some papers.

"Oh no." She said. "I forgot my afternoon lesson plan."

"Must have left it in the break room." She said softly.

She turned to us and smiled. "Can I trust you girls to be alone for a minute while I grab something?"

We nodded. I would keep her safe if Jamie came back.

She left me alone to sit with Miracle.

"What did my mommy say to your mommy this morning?" I didn't want to talk about Jamie. It was making her sad. I wanted her to be happy.

"She said something about going over to see your mommy today. She asked her if she was late."

"Late for what?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno. Grown up things."

What would mommy be late for? Mommy wasn't ever late to anything.

Adults are weird.

I turned when the door opened again. Expecting to see Miss Rinaldi, but instead it was Jamie.

He smiled at us, but it was mean. He was letting his fangs out.

"What are you doing here Jamie?" I pushed my arms out, placing them in front of my chest.

I stood in front of Miracle to keep him away from her.

"I came inside to get my water." He shrugged his shoulders.

He walked over to his cubby and got his lunchbox.

He opened it and took a drink from his water bottle.

After he was done he looked out into the hall.

No one else was around. It was just the three of us. Except for someone standing in the hall.

It was one of the people with the white and black shirts, but he was busy talking to someone.

"Ok, you got your water." I snapped my teeth shut. "Now go back outside."

He laughed and came closer.

"What are you gonna do if I don't?"

"Freak." He finished, showing his fangs.

I was getting mad again.

Before I could do anything, a sharp pain hit my head and moved to my eyes.

I cried out and fell to my knees.

"Atticus." Miracle cried.

Beyond the stings I could hear something fall. Like a desk or a chair.

Once the pain stopped I looked up.

Jamie was laughing at Miracle. She had her arms up and tears were draining from her brown eyes.

She was on the ground. Her chair was knocked over. He must have pushed her again.

I growled and stood up.

Something else took over. The mean part of me. I jumped and landed on top of him.

I screamed and wailed on him. Reaching any part of him that I could with my hands.

"She's got strigoi eyes." He yelled. His blue eyes were leaking with tears.

I reached for his arm and bit down.

He cried.

His blood rushed into my mouth. I drew against the flow. Forcing more blood out of him.

It tasted good. Like sweet candy and mommy's cookies.

Soon it tasted tangy and nasty.

I got off him and threw it up.

Jamie screamed and crawled backwards away from us.

"She's a freak." He said pointing to me when adults came into the room. "She bit me."

"She has red eyes."

The other adults put themselves in front of Miracle and Jamie.

Henry squatted in front of me and looked at me closely. He held on to a silver object. Like the one from my dream with Natalie.

"Well, she seems fine now." He said, turning my face with his hand. He put it back in his pocket and turned to Jamie.

"Are you sure you didn't just imagine she had red eyes?"

"No. No. She had red eyes. I'm not lying." He replied.

Miss Rinaldi shrugged. "It's quite possible. "I did just have a strigoi lesson on Friday."

He nodded at her and then turned back to me.

"Either way." He said. "You bit another student. You need to be punished Atticus."

He stood up and helped me to my feet. "We are going to have to call your parents."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter#5

Daddy was still at work so mommy had to pick me up.

She was in sweats and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun.

I wanted to talk to her. I opened my mouth a lot to talk, but she just gave me a squinty look.

So, I didn't.

It wasn't until we got back into our room that she spoke.

"Sit down." She said looking at the dining room chair.

I nodded and did what she told me.

She sat across from me and rubbed her head.

"Atticus honey, what were you thinking?"

I wanted to protect Miracle. Jamie was being mean to her. She didn't do anything bad.

"He started it."

Mommy stopped rubbing her head and looked up at me.

"I don't care who started it Atticus." She said. "You don't bite another person."

"But mommy."

"No but's Atticus." She said. "You bit someone, and that's not ok."

She got up and walked over to the window.

Her back was turned and she swayed from side to side.

"Go to your room for now Atticus." She said. "When your father gets home we will talk about a punishment."

I turned to walk up the stairs.

I laid in my bed for a while and then looked at the clock.

It said 3:00.

Daddy would be home any minute.

What would he say?

What would he do?

Was he going to have me sent away?

I sat up in bed when I heard daddy's voice.

"Atticus Janine Belikov."

He sounded really mad.

I threw my covers over my head and shook.

My door opened and I felt hands pull at my blankets.

He shoved them off of me and looked at me.

His eyes were squinted and his mouth was curled.

Uh oh…

My stomach felt bad again.

Daddy held out his hand. Like the shadow people do sometimes.

"You come with me right now young lady."

I sighed and did what he asked.

He led me over to the couch to sit with mommy.

I sat. I was nervous.

I fiddled with my hands and looked at them. I couldn't look at daddy even when he talked.

"I heard about what happened today at school. I am very disappointed."

"Daddy. I'm sorry, but..."

"Young lady you look at me when I am talking to you."

I pulled my head up. Tears clouded my eyes.

"No but's Miss Atticus." He said waving his hand in the air. "You don't bite another person."

"But daddy. Mommy does it."

I've seen her. She takes me downstairs sometimes to the basement. The people down there like to get bitten. I think I heard Aunt Lissa call them feeders.

"That's different." Mommy said standing up too. "I don't bite someone to hurt them. I do it so that I can eat."

Daddy puts his hand on her shoulders and rubs. She breathes and sits back down.

Daddy then turns back to me and frowns.

"Atticus, listen. What you did was wrong. End of discussion. The school has suspended you for the rest of the week. I think that's very fair considering that they could have kicked you out."

He put his fingers by his nose before talking again.

"You are very lucky Miss Atticus that Aunt Lissa runs that school. I have no doubt that she pulled strings to let you stay."

"At some point this week I want you to go to her and thank her personally. Do you understand?"

I nod.

He sighed and pointed upstairs.

"I suggest you go get some sleep. You will be getting up with me every day this week and going to trainings."

"But daddy." I moaned.

He got up early. Even earlier than I did for school.

He held up his hand.

I stop talking.

"Go." He said. "And I don't want to see you for the rest of the night."

"But daddy, please listen…"

"Do I make myself clear Miss Atticus?"

I nod, and walk up the stairs.

I turn back though one last time. I want to tell them. They need to know why.

"Jaime was being mean. He was picking on Miracle. I was sticking up for her. I didn't want to hurt him."

They both turned to me.

"I couldn't help it. I wasn't me. I was someone else."

"Atticus, I said go to your room." Daddy bit.

I bit my lip. My eyes were leaking again. I knew what had to be done, but I didn't have what daddy had.

He had the silver thing. I had to tell him.

"Jaime said that I had red eyes. Like the bad ones. I think you have to kill me now daddy. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"I don't want to hurt you or mommy."

Mommy and daddy's eyes turned glassy again.

"I'm sorry that I made you sad."

"I'm a monster." I finished before turning away and charging up the stairs. Tears spilled from my eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter#6

Maybe they could have a new baby. I thought laying up in my room.

After daddy killed me.

I let more tears drain from my eyes.

I didn't want to leave them, but I was bad. I had to go away.

Then there was a knock at my door.

I wiped my eyes and sat up in bed.

"Come in." I said.

Mommy and daddy came inside they were holding hands. They sat on my bed.

"I thought you didn't want to see me."

They both looked at each other and then turned to me.

"I just said that because I was mad." Daddy said. "I'm sorry for being mean to you Atticus."

"We love you very much Atticus. No matter what." Mommy finished.

"That's right." Daddy nodded as he rubbed mommy's knuckles. "Atticus, you are so loved baby girl."

How could they love me? After what I did.

"But I did a bad thing. I hurt someone. I didn't mean to. I feel bad about it."

"We know." Mommy said stretching her free hand out to me. "But baby you have to be punished for it."

I nodded. I knew she was right. Even though I felt bad it wasn't enough.

"So, daddy are you going to kill me now?"

Daddy looked at me and shook his head, but his face was dark. He didn't say anything.

"I won't be mad daddy." I said with a sniffle as another tear ran down my cheek. "You have to. I'm a bad person. Like Natalie."

Mommy looked at daddy and then back at me. Her eyes were big.

"Honey, what are you talking about? Who's Natalie?"

I touched my chest.

"She's like me. She's a bad one. She had a silver thing poking out of her. Daddy did it to her."

Daddy looked at mommy and sighed. Like he was saying sorry to her in some made up language.

"I'll tell you, but right now isn't the time."

He looked at me and then at mommy.

Mommy sighed and turned back to me.

"Honey, listen. You're not a bad person."

"What did Miss Rinaldi tell you about the bad people?" Mommy said after pausing.

I bit my lip and then looked at her. I felt a weight pull on my chest. I didn't like talking about the bad ones. They made me afraid.

"She said that they had red eyes. That they were pale and that they kill other people."

"That's right baby girl." Mommy said. She put her hand on mine and rubbed.

"Now did you kill Jamie?"

I shook my head.

"No?" She asked.

I shook my head at mommy again. She knows I didn't. I don't know why she's asking.

"Why did you stop?"

"Well at first his blood tasted good. Like your cookies. But then it tasted bad. Like daddy's coffee."

Mommy gave me a wide eye.

Daddy gave a funny look to mommy.

"And when did our little Atticus drink daddy's coffee?"

He folded his arms in front of him and chuckled.

She turned to him.

"I just let her have a small sip."

She squished her fingers together and grinned.

Daddy reached over and tickled her.

Mommy laughed and threw her head back against my bed.

After a few seconds daddy helped mommy sit up.

"Anyway." He said looking at mommy with his funny eyebrow and then back to me.

I guess they would talk about that later.

"I need to tell you something about the bad people Atticus." Mommy said.

I rubbed my arm. I could feel my chest getting tight.

"The bad people wouldn't have stopped hunny, and you did. So how can you be a bad person?"

"You mean they would have killed Jaime?" I interrupted.

Daddy nodded and put his fingers through his hair.

"Yes hunny, that's right, but you didn't. You stopped. I'm glad you did."

He pulled his hand out of his hair. "But mommy and I are still very unhappy about what happened."

"The punishment stands." He said. "You are coming with me to work for the rest of the week."

"Is mommy going too?"

Mommy shook her head and placed her hand on her stomach.

"No sweetie. Mommy still isn't feeling well."

"I'm sorry you had to come get me." I frowned.

Mommy put her hand on my chin and rubbed at it.

"That's another thing too about the bad people hunny. You care so much about others. The bad people don't care. They only care about themselves."

She put her hand behind my head and pulled my face closer.

She gave me a kiss before letting me sink back against the headboard.

"Honey, we are so proud of the young lady you are. We may not always be proud of the things you do, but Mommy and daddy make mistakes too. No one is perfect. Don't forget that. OK?"

I nodded.

"But even when adults make mistakes they get punished."

"We need you to understand that what you did to Jamie was wrong. Very wrong."

"I know, and I'm sorry." I curled my hair behind my ear.

"We know you are sweetie, and we appreciate that. We are sorry for yelling at you."

I wasn't mad. I know mommy and daddy were just upset. I felt bad that I made them that way.

"Do you have anything you want to ask about the bad people?" Mommy's eyes were soft. Like caramel.

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about the bad people anymore.

"Ok sweetie." Mommy said before laying a kiss to my head. "If you ever have anything you want to talk about please don't feel like you can't come to us. OK baby?"

I nodded.

"Good." She said hitting her hand on my mattress.

"How about I make us dinner now?" She said. "What do you want?"

"Do I get to have dinner with you?" I ask. "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

Daddy sighed and got off my bed. Then he picked me up.

I laughed when he pushed his face against me. He dug in deeper and made chomping noises.

He had bristles on his chin. They tickled.

"You better come have dinner with us." He said. "Or I will have to eat you instead."

"Daddy." I laughed. "Tickles."

I was getting sweaty from him breathing on me.

"Go wash up for dinner." He said before putting me down. "We will see you in a few minutes."

I nod and walk towards the bathroom.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter#7

After washing up I made my way downstairs.

I stopped.

Mommy and daddy were arguing.

I crouched down and held onto the banister.

"How could you not tell me this Dimitri? Our daughter is talking to dead people."

"Roza, she only told me this morning. You're sick. I wanted you to get rest. I thought we'd be able to talk later."

She shook her head. Tears were coming out of her eyes.

"She's my daughter too." She cried. "I have a right to know what's going on with her."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned away from daddy.

Daddy walked over slowly with his hands up.

"You're absolutely right love." He said, wrapping his arms around her. "I just was thinking about what was best for you. I'm sorry."

I guess mommy was right. Grownups make mistakes too.

I wonder how she's going to punish daddy.

She looks really upset.

"I know." She sighed, pushing herself onto daddy. "I'm sorry for getting upset at you."

"I just fell so disconnected from her. I feel like she trusts everyone but me."

Daddy kissed mommy on the lips.

He did it for a while.

 _Gross. I hope I never have to kiss anyone like that._

Then he pulled back and looked at her again.

"No Roza, it's not that she doesn't trust you love. She's just afraid. She doesn't understand what's happening to her."

"Well that makes two of us." Mommy said with a laugh.

Daddy turned away and turned his back to mommy.

"This is my fault. She got this from me. If I would have never been strigoi."

 _Daddy was a bad one? But he can't be. He's so nice._

Mommy wrapped her arms around daddy and rubbed her head against his back.

"Oh Comrade. Are we really going to talk about this again? I thought you were done punishing yourself."

"I can't help it." He grumbled. "She deserves a normal childhood. A happy one. Not one like this."

Mommy grabbed daddy by the hips and pulled him towards her.

He faced her and rubbed the hair from her eyes.

"Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. I love you damnit."

Uh oh. Mommy said a bad word to daddy.

"You are an amazing father. You're loving, and kind, and you bring such a joy to our lives."

She smiled at her belly and then rubbed at it.

"Just like you will bring joy to this one."

Daddy's eyes grew wide when he looked down at mommys tummy.

"Roza, are you sure?" He put his hand on top of hers and rubbed gently.

She nodded. "I'm late. My boobs are sore. So Lissa brought over a test today."

I still didn't understand what mommy was late for, but whatever it was I hoped she at least let someone know she wouldn't be there.

I wanted to have dinner with daddy and mommy.

Daddy inched closer while still staring at mommy's belly.

She shrugged. "Well we have been trying for a while. It was bound to happen eventually comrade."

Mommy had barely finished talking before daddy scooped her up in his arms and twirled her around.

"Whoa comrade." She said breathless and rubbing at her head. "I love you, but please make the world stop spinning."

Daddy set mommy down. Mommy stumbled.

Daddy caught her and helped her stand up straight.

After that he went into the fridge and got her some water.

She chugged it down and daddy rubbed at her back.

"Roza, I am so happy. You and our babies make me the happiest man alive. I love our family so much."

He knelt in front of mommy and pressed his face against her tummy and kissed it.

"How did I get so lucky?" He said, bringing his hands to her hips.

"Because you're a good man." She said reaching out to his face. He looked up at her. "Because you do what you have to do. Because you are the greatest father ever, and the best husband."

"How do you know?" He said with a smile. "Do you have other husbands?"

"Shut up." She said smacking his shoulder.

Daddy mouthed ouch and rubbed at his shoulder. Then he rolled it.

"Oh stop." She said. "I barely touched you."

She turned away to stir a puffing pot.

He got up and wrapped his arms around mommy's waist.

"Yes, well you are very strong." He said into her ear after a few seconds.

He gently swayed her back and forth. Almost like they were dancing.

"Gee." She said laughing. "I wonder where I learned that from." She rose her eyebrow and turned towards daddy.

After a few seconds daddy spoke again.

"Roza Belikov. I love you so much."

"I love you too Dimitri Belikov."

She sank closer to daddy so she could kiss him.

I turned away and gagged.

When they stopped kissing I skipped downstairs.

"Hello princess." Daddy said after releasing his hands from her.

"Hi daddy." I said with a chirp.

I sat at the table.

Mommy scooped out spaghetti into a bowl and handed it to me.

It had red sauce and hamburgler. Just like I liked it.

"Here you go sweetie." She kissed my head.

"Thank you, mommy."

She smiled. Just before reaching over to scoop out a bit for daddy.

He shook his head and forced her to sit next to me.

"You've been cooking." He said. "You relax."

She nodded and kissed him before he went to go get something to eat.

Mommy clasped my arm and rubbed at it.

She waited to speak until Daddy sat down.

"Honey, there's something we need to tell you."

I knew what they were going to tell me. What I didn't know is whether I should act surprised or not. After all, mommy told me that listening to other people's conversations without them knowing wasn't nice.

I didn't want to get into trouble. So, I will pretend to be surprised.

"Atticus honey, you are going to be a big sister. Mommy is growing a baby in her tummy."

I squeaked and wrapped my arms around mommy's shoulders.

It was easier when she was sitting down. I could reach her then.

Daddy joined in the hug and he kissed my cheek.

"I am going to be the best big sister ever." I promised.

"Yes." Daddy replied. "Yes, you are baby girl."

Anything else they said was blurred out when I heard the heartbeat chugging from mommy's tummy.

I couldn't take my eyes off it.

It was shiny and blue.

Maybe it was a boy.

It looked delicious.

I wanted to taste it.

My eyes burned again. I closed them.

Tears poured out of me.

"Atticus." Mommy's voice cracked as I felt her arms wrap around me again. She was shaking me.

I didn't want to hurt her.

I cried out at the burn that came up from my throat.

"Mommy. Please." I cried. "Stand back. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt my brother."

My head pounded, but past that I could hear mommy and daddy talking.

"Dimitri, what do we do?"

"Roza, relax. It's all right love. Just stand behind me. She will come back."

I opened my eyes. Mommy and Daddy looked afraid.

Daddy's hand was in his pocket as mommy stood behind him.

He must have had his silver stick.

I could still hear his heartbeat. It was really fast.

 _Clug, Clug. Clug._

I stood on shaky legs. It felt like when I was first learning to walk.

Daddy moved farther away from me. Pulling Mommy with him.

"Daddy, what's wrong? Don't you love me anymore?"

"Atticus baby, come back. You're not you right now."

"Do it daddy." I said looking into his pocket.

I didn't want to hurt them. It was better that I was gone.

"Kill me daddy. Please."

Daddy's eyes glistened, and so did mommy's.

"No bab.."

"I'll do it if you don't." I interrupted. Still staring at the pocket. "You have to protect them daddy. I know. Mommy is special. She's different. She's got different magic."

The fire in my head grew stronger. It hurt more.

I couldn't fight it anymore. I needed blood.

I pounced on top of daddy. I was hoping to climb over him to get to mommy, but he was too quick.

He grabbed me and pinned me on the couch.

My head slammed onto the cushion.

It didn't hurt, at least not like it would have if I would have hit the floor.

I think he avoided the floor so he wouldn't hurt me.

Then a voice. A command over took me.

It was mommy.

I was glued to her eyes. Lost in her brown swirls.

In that moment, I would have done anything that she told me.

Even if she told me to kill daddy.

I shivered at the thought. I didn't want to kill Daddy.

"Go to sleep baby. When you wake up I want you to come back to us."

The fire stopped, and with a loud yawn I closed my eyes.

The last thing I heard before the darkness took me was one final chug of my baby brother's heartbeat.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter#8

We didn't talk about the bad thing that happened at dinner the previous day.

Even the next night as Daddy sat at the table with his white dress shirt and black pants.

I still had to go to work with daddy.

"Atticus." Daddy finally said after a few minutes. "If you start to feel..."

Daddy stopped. He pouted his lip as if trying to find the right word.

"Bad?" I said.

He nodded.  
"Yes baby, if you start to feel bad you let me know right away."

He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face to his.

"Ok." I nodded, not wanting to say anything else.

"Good girl." He said after taking a sip of coffee.

He then looked at his watch and then the clock hung on the wall above the stove.

The big hand was on the 12 and the little hand was on the 7.

It was 7PM. When the big hand got to the six it would be 7:30. That's when training starts.

"We better go." Daddy said as he stood up.

He gave mommy a kiss on the cheek and then kissed her belly. After that he turned to me.

He smiled and held out his hand.

"Come on Miss Atticus. Off to work we go princess."

I nodded and took his hand.

We walked down the hall and made our way to the gym.

Daddy directed me to the bleachers and told me to sit.

I nodded, and watched as the rest of the guardians came inside. The ones that would be training today.

"Belikov." My daddy's friend Henry held out his hand. He took it gladly and shook it. "Where is your wife? Still sick?"

"Not exactly." Daddy responded with a deep smile.

Henry's eyes squinted and he cocked his head to the side.

"I don't understand."

After a few seconds of staring at each other Henry's eyes lit up.

"Oh, you mean she's?"

Daddy nodded. Keeping the smile on his face.

"Oh, that's wonderful my friend. Congratulations."

Henry slapped his hand on daddy's shoulder.

"Thank you, Henry. Now it's your turn to get hitched and start a family." Daddy said with a wink.

Hitched? I didn't know what it meant. I guess it's something you do when you get old.

"I don't know about that Belikov." He wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and rubbed.

"That requires me to find someone I love, let alone like. You know how it is being a guardian. They come first."

"I know someone you like." I chirped.

This caused both men to look at me.

I gulped hard, but didn't say anything.

"Oh yes is that right Miss Atticus?"

He walked towards me and sank down next to me on the bleachers.

There was still 15 minutes until training started. Most of the other guardians were still talking with each other.

"And who Miss Atticus do you think I like?"

Daddy came over and sat on the other side of me.

I looked around to see if anyone was listening. Happy that no one else was listening I turned back to Henry.

"I know you like Miss Rinaldi." I pointed to my cheeks. "You get pink sometimes when you look at her."

Daddy's face scrunched as if he was ready to laugh, but he held it back with his fist to his mouth.

"Is that so?" Daddy said when he could contain his laugh. "How often does that happen?"

Henry's face got pink again.

I didn't want to embarrass him anymore. So, I just shrugged.

Thankfully, I didn't have to say anything else, because the guardians gathered around, ready to start training.

Daddy put on his serious face and walked up to the front.

Henry stayed sitting next to me on the bleachers.

I liked him a lot. He was nice. Like daddy.

I bet if I asked nicely he would let me have his silver stick.

I nudged him after Daddy had picked someone to fight with.

Henry turned, after daddy pinned his fighter down.

"Yes, Miss Atticus?" He said with a smile. "What can I do for you my dear?"

I looked in his pocket.

He followed my eyes and pulled out his silver stick.

"What? You want to look at it?"

I nodded.

He held it out towards me, but when I went to grab it he pulled away.

"No Miss Atticus, this isn't a toy. It's dangerous. You can look at it, but don't touch it."

I sighed and looked at it again.

I looked at him and wished hard that he would give it to me.

"Please Mr. Henry. May I have it?"

I pouted and held out my hand.

I didn't think he would do it, but I was surprised when he gave it to me without a fight.

I held it in my hand.

It was heavy.

He kept his eyes on me.

They were shiny. For some reason, I felt brave. I felt like I could ask him for just about anything.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Will you walk with me?"

He smiled and stood up.

"Of course."

He ushered me to go first.

Daddy turned towards me.

"Bathroom." I mouthed, barely reaching my voice to a whisper.

He nodded, but as he did, he was distracted by the person he was fighting with.

Daddy landed on his back with a loud crash.

"Dead." The other fighter said as he held his silver stick and pretended to press it onto daddy's chest.

I watched where he put it. It had to be in the heart.

I remembered Miss Rinaldi telling us.

"Very good." Daddy said, as the fighter reached his hand out to help him up.

Daddy took it.

I smiled at my daddy one last time before walking down the hall.

I wished I could say goodbye.

Sharp pains stung in my chest.

I held on with my fist so that I wouldn't cry.

Henry stood outside the door, but opened it for me.

"Thank you." I said, trying to keep a straight smile.

"Do me one last favor Henry."

"Anything." He said with a bow.

"Don't let anyone else come in here, and even if you hear funny noises don't come in."

His eyes were still shiny, so I knew he would listen to me.

"Of course, Miss Atticus. No one will come in."

"Thank you."

I walked inside.

After making sure the other stalls were empty I turned to lock the door just in case.

This was it. I thought as I stood in the doorway and held onto the silver stick.

I took a deep breath and unbuttoned my shirt.

I held on to the silver object in my hand and fiddled with it.

"Atticus, don't do this."

I looked up and walked around trying to find out who was talking to me.

It sounded like daddy, but I knew he wasn't in here.

Henry was still outside, so it couldn't be him either.

I shook my head.

I must be using my imagination.

"Atticus don't." The voice said again when I held up the silver thing.

"Who's there?" I whispered.

"Atticus it's me. It's your friend Ivan."

I looked in each of the stalls.

They were still empty.

"Where are you?" I said.

"Atticus, don't do this. You can't. You are needed here."

"I don't want to hurt them." I cried. "There's no other choice."

"There's always a choice." He said. "There's always another choice little one."

"Please." He continued. "Don't."

I shook my head. The tears falling freely from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I have to."

Using all my strength I shoved the pointy stick into my chest.

It hurt. A lot.

It felt hot like fire. Then it got cold and dark.

Then I felt nothing at all.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter#9

"How could this happen?"

Mommy's voice was the first one I heard after being in the dark for a long time.

"How could you let this happen?"

Her voice was stiff like she was angry, but shaky too like she was crying.

"Roza love." Daddy sounded shaky too, but his voice was soft.

"It's not Henry's fault."

"Not his fault?" Mommy yelled back. "Not his fault? How could you say that? He was watching her. He let her have his stake."

"She used compulsion on me." Henry said.

"That's not possible." Mommy spat. "She's a dhampir. She can't use compulsion."

"There's no other way to explain it love." Daddy said after a second. "I know Henry. He wouldn't do this under normal circumstances."

"And you know it too." He finished.

Mommy let out a deep sigh as if she knew he was right.

"I don't know what to say Dimitri."

Henry's voice was shaking now too.

Poor Henry. It wasn't his fault. It was mine.

"I'm sorry. To both of you. I'm so sorry."

"It's all right Henry." Daddy said. "Dr. Flemont said that she didn't get her heart. She's just stunned. She will be in a lot of pain, but she will be ok. She will wake up soon."

"Oh, thank goodness." I heard Aunt Jenessa's voice next. "I am so glad that she's ok."

There was a lot of crying after that.

"I'm so sorry." I heard Aunt Lissa come in next. She sounded like she was out of breath. "I heard what happened but I was stuck in a meeting. Is she ok?"

"She's ok." Mommy responded. "She's just stunned. The doctor said she's going to wake up soon."

"What could have made her want to do this?" Mommy said. "I don't understand."

"Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I'm a horrible mother." She continued.

Mommy cried again, but this time it came out in heavy sobs and screams.

"Roza, this is not your fault." Daddy said. "You are a wonderful mother."

I was glad daddy was there to tell mommy the things I couldn't. She really was a great mom.

She made good food, and made me feel better when I was sick.

I would have to tell her that when I woke up.

"This is my fault." He continued. "I was strigoi. The doctor said that Atticus inherited a strigoi gene from me."

"Comrade, you can't keep blaming yourself. You didn't do anything wrong."

After a few moments of silence Aunt Lissa spoke next.

"What do you need? I will help you in any way I can."

"That's very kind of you your majesty but.."

"Dimitri Please." Aunt Lissa snapped. "We are among friends. Titles are not needed here."

"Now, what can I do to help you?" She said after a long pause.

"Lissa you've already done enough." Daddy said.

"Like hell." Aunt Lissa bit. "Even though I am not connected to your family by blood she is still my niece. I want to help her."

"Please, what can be done?" She finished, though I don't think to anyone in particular.

The room was quiet for a moment.

The light was looming closer.

I could feel it tingling against my skin.

I would be awake soon.

"What about if I trained her in Russia?" I heard Aunt Jenessa say.

There was a deep pause from the room again.

"I mean just until she got her powers under control. She could be away from the prying eyes of court. She has amazing abilities. If she could just learn to control them. I could take her to our family's house. She could learn in secret."

"That's a great idea." Aunt Lissa chirped. "I'll handle all the financial arrangements."

"I almost lost my daughter." I heard Mommy say. "I am not going to send her away. She won't be sent away like I was. I won't give up on my baby."

Mommy cried again.

"Roza, love I know that your mother left you when you were just a baby, but please. This isn't about giving up on her. We are helping her."

Mommy sniffled and Daddy kept talking.

"Darling, she needs help. She would be back before we knew it. This is what's best for her."

"No." Mommy said. "I won't give her up. She's mine and she's staying here with me."

"Just for a little while Rose." Aunt Jenessa said. "I can help her learn just like I did with you."

The light swallowed me, and suddenly I felt cold.

I reached for my blankets, but my chest felt heavy. I couldn't sit up to reach them.

I blinked and around me everyone I loved came into view.

"Atticus my love." Daddy said.

He pulled my blankets towards me and bundled me in them.

They felt soft.

He released mommy and they came on either side of my bed.

Daddy ran his hand in my hair while mommy held my hand.

"Hi sweetheart."

I turned to mommy. I could tell she was trying to be brave.

Her eyes were pink.

"Mommy, Daddy's right."

She sniffled again and shook her head.

"I don't understand baby."

"I heard you talking. Everyone is right. I need to go away for a while."

Mommy stood and turned away from me.

She was shaking.

Oh no. I made mommy mad. I better talk to her.

"Mommy, you are a wonderful. You make me peanut butter sandwiches and cookies and help me when I'm sick."

Mommy's head went down and she sobbed.

Daddy got up and stood next to her.

He was whispering to her in his made-up language.

"Mommy, I'm sick, and I need help."

She turned back to me. Tears falling from her face.

"Honey, you're not sick. There is nothing wrong with you."

I didn't want to be away from mommy and daddy, but I knew that going away was the right thing.

I needed to be better.

"I need help mommy. Please help me. Let me go with Aunt Jenessa. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Aunt Jenessa sat where daddy did and rubbed at my head.

"That's very wise of you Atticus. I'm so proud of you sweetie. You are such a brave little girl."

Mommy was crying so hard now she was on the floor.

"I love you all so much, but it's what's right. I know it."

The heart beat inside of her was thumping slow.

Too slow.

Oh no.

Mommy screamed and clenched her hand on her stomach.

 _Oh no. Mommy. My brother. Please be ok. Let them be ok._

Daddy helped her out of the room and a group of people in white uniforms put mommy in a wheelchair.

Aunt Lissa walked behind them.

"It's ok Dimitri." I heard her say. "I will heal them if I have to."

"Daddy, what's wrong?" I yelled as he was disappearing behind the curtain of my room.

Daddy came back in. His eyes were pink and his eyes looked heavy.

"It's all right baby." Daddy laid a kiss to my head. I could feel his tears hit my forehead.

They trailed down to my nose.

I wiped at them.

"It's going to be ok." He said. "Everything is going to be ok."

"I'll stay with Atticus." Aunt Jenessa said. "Go be with Rose."

He turned to her and nodded before looking back at me.

"It's going to be ok my love. Just relax and get some rest. Mommy and the baby will be ok. We love you very much."

"I love you too. All of you." I said, just before he left again.

"It's going to be ok." Aunt Jenessa said again.

But I could hear it in her voice. It sounded like she was lying, or unsure of herself.

A big ball grew in my stomach.

I didn't want anything bad to happen to mommy or my brother.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter#10

 **Just a warning. Starts to get a little more rated M from here on out.**

 **Don't say I didn't warn you.**

A deep mist drew deep into my lungs and came out puffing like a heavy flame.

I knew what this was. I was dreaming, well not really dreaming as much as stuck between the realms of the living and the dead.

But I wasn't afraid anymore. I had been having these visions for practically my whole life now. I was 16; a teenager now. It was time to be brave.

Ivan smiled at me from across the billowing winds of the other ghosts.

I smiled back, and took his hand when he offered it.

Except we weren't back in the dark room.

We were in a cemetery.

He didn't say a word until we walked up to a grave.

I stared at the stone column and read the words out loud in my head. It was faded and hard to read, but I could see that this was his grave.

I turned back to Ivan.

He stared at the grave for a few moments before turning back to me again.

He smiled, but his face was wrinkled, as if fighting for the smile.

"Ivan, why did you bring me here?"

His frame towered over me as he walked closer.

He rested his hands on my shoulders and rubbed them gently.

I had to admit. He was hot, and over the years I had developed a crazy crush on him, but it's not like I could date a ghost.

Besides, it would be weird. He's like eight years older than me.

"Atticus, I brought you here because you are the only one who can help me."

He sighed and removed his hands from me.

My body shivered against the now empty space.

I wanted him to fill the space with his tall frame and to never leave me gaping again.

"You have special powers Atticus. Not only can you shift between a strigoi and dhampir, but you can command life and death itself."

"It's selfish of me to ask." He continued after a moment. "But I want to be alive again."

His eyes turned to his grave, and I could have sworn in a glimmer of pale moonlight I saw a small tear slide down his cheek.

I didn't say anything to acknowledge it. Even when he wiped at it.

He turned back to me. "I want to be with you."

I reached out for his face, but he wrapped my hand around his and clasped it to his chest.

"Would you bring me back Atticus?"

A million thoughts tumbled through my head at once.

Aunt Jenessa hadn't taught me how to use any other powers. She had only taught me control. How to push back against my strigoi form. How to suppress it.

Helping Ivan would go against everything I she had taught me.

Besides, even if I could do it I had no idea how.

But instead I asked the question that I dare not ask, and made a promise that was too dangerous.

I loved him, and the selfish part of me wanted to be with him too.

"Ok, I'll help you. Show me how."

He bit his lip and grazed them with his fangs.

I could tell I wouldn't like what he was about to say.

"You have to make a choice Atticus. You must kill someone. You have to trade their life for mine."

Oh shit…


End file.
